Dear Frank Frost,
Hey there. It’s me. Your website. Do you remember who I am? Well, I guess you do, ’cause I see that you’ve updated me. FINALLY. I mean, come on, Frankie boy–I was getting cobwebs all up in my galleries.
So, what is up with taking this long to give me a facelift? Countries have risen and fallen in the time it’s taken you to do this. Honest to God, NASA got a spaceship on Mars in less time than it took for you to get a new look for me.
And you can’t say that you don’t use the Internet, because I know you do. I see you updating Facebook and Instagram and returning emails and uploading social media albums and even Zooming. And yet, there I sat…ignored.
I started to feel like MySpace.
But, I guess I should give you a little bit of a break. I know you’re busy photographing clients every day. I mean, to be fair, that IS what you do. I can tell by the amount of work you’ve loaded me up with that you are, indeed, pretty busy. Holy smokes, these photography galleries are full of work. Maybe a little TOO full. I might have to let out my belt a couple of notches.
(Hahahaha. Get it? Too full? Need to let out my belt. Except, I don’t wear a belt, ’cause I’m a website. That’s a joke, Frank. The least you could is laugh after ignoring me for so long.)
Anyway, I’m glad to see you’re paying attention to me. And I really appreciate that I get to show off your work and your beautiful clients. I’ve looked around the Internet, and I have to say, the faces you’ve loaded me up with are some of the best I’ve seen. I’ll bet their hearts are just as beautiful.
OMG. There I go. Getting all emotional talking about your work. I promised myself I wouldn’t do this. I even gave myself a pep talk before writing this: “Stay mad at him,” but dang it, your work makes me feel all the feels.
So, how about we just start over. You promise to update me regularly and I promise to be a happy home for your online galleries.
I CAN’T STAY MAD AT YOU.
But seriously, why did it take you this long?