My wife is a big fan of horror/thriller type movies. She drags me to them, and I usually leave asking her the same thing, “You REALLY liked that?” But I think all her scary movie experience has finally come in handy, as she just made a list of 13 Rules for Surviving Halloween Night. Again, I’m not a scary movie guy, but I don’t think I can argue with any of these.
13 RULES FOR SURVIVING HALLOWEEN NIGHT.
1. Never be home alone in just your underwear.
2. Never say, “Hey, everyone, let’s split up.”
3. If you are running from something, know that you WILL trip and fall onto the ground. Do not lay there screaming-get up and RUN! This only applies to women.
4. If you are in danger, don’t rely on your car starting. It won’t work.
5. Same goes double for your phone.
6. And light switches.
7. Do not rely on the athlete in your group to save you; stick with the geek.
8. Do not shower.
9. Realize that NO ONE will be home in your neighborhood, so running from house to house pounding on doors for help will do you no good.
10. The first time someone startles you, it will be a friend pulling a prank. The second time, it’s a monster. Know this.
11. When you’ve dispatched the monster, you will feel the need to dramatically drop the weapon you were holding. Never do this. He’s not dead.
12. Do not look into a mirror.
13. You will hear a strange sound and want to investigate. It will usually be coming from a shadowy place in the yard, your attic or a basement. Resist the urge, especially if you didn’t listen to Rule #1.